Review: Doctor Who - 'The abominable Snowmen'

 Warning: There is very little to spoil. 

After a shockingly naff batch of episodes last year, the Doctor Who christmas special held the promise of new adventures and a new companion, perhaps a new vibe and even a new Tardis! No more poxy Ponds - maybe it could be a new lease of life for the show! An opportunity to stop fucking up, once and for all! But no, as it turns out, it was the usual mess with added shoddy CGI snowmen - another episode that's ultimately utterly pointless, a waste of an hour of your life where the day is saved in a completely illogical way harking back to when an enormous Cyberman blew itself up because it realised it was a Cyberman.

Shopping List December 2012 - Five gifts you want for Xmas

Christmas is right around the corner and children everywhere are ready to burst with excitement at the thought of unwrapping an iPhone 5, Wii U or 3D TV on the big day. Sucks, doesn't it, how the magic has been torn from the festive season. Since when did all a child care about become the latest electrical gadgets, Furbys and Doctor Who? What happened to teddy bears, board games and wearing silly hats? Never mind. What follows is a list of five fab gift ideas the child inside all us geeky adults really wishes for come the 25th (if we survive that long)!

How long from iPod to iRobot?

Most smart-phone savvy consumers were unimpressed with Apple's latest iPhone - the iPhone 5. Let's be honest, we all expected something a bit more creative, especially since Samsung are quickly catching up in terms of popularity and inventiveness. Some might say everybody needs to shut up and remember we were all playing snake in black and white on a Nokia 3210 little more than 10 years ago, but while bearing that in mind remember that, very soon, we're going to need something really quite big to happen technologically if we're to be in the same shoes as Will Smith in i, Robot (hopefully minus all the death and destruction) come the year 2035.

Podcast #9 - Now Then Now Then

Brace yourselves for HCTV's 9th podcast! What starts off as a discussion over a certain shoddy science fiction movie and whether or not Will's iPhone case looks ridiculous turns into one about celebrity monsters Jimmy Savile & and his best bud, Garry Glitter. With brand new allegations coming in from all angles the BBC are squirming and Will's news apps are getting bombarded with updates!

Also, we've got some great news for all you iPod and iPad and iThis and iThat users out there! All of HCTV's podcasts can now be found on iTunes and synced directly to your device! So now it's even simpler to have a giggle with your favourite internet crushes, Roo and Will! Please rate us (with five juicey stars) and tell your chums! Follow HCTV on Twitter & find us on Facebook to suggest ideas for what you'd like us to blab on about in the future! Your loyal ear-holes are much appreciated, so let us know who you are so we can put a face to our feelings of love and devotion!

More Misfits

The new soggy Misfits teasers from E4 show that there's still a lot of life left in the British superhero comedy/drama. After the previous batch of, let's be honest, hit and miss episodes we've been left hanging - Alisha & Simon's timey wimey tale finally came to a close in epic style which saw the two of them bow out. Who will fill their shoes? That'll be Jess and Finn. The two newcomers will be introduced to the gang along with what seems to be a brand new storm, which will no doubt bring about a fresh collection of powers and yet more whacky adventures.

Review: Doctor Who - 'The Angels shit on Manhattan'

 Warning: Shut your eyes or you'll see spoilers! No, wait! Don't! 

The Angels are not what creates the sinister feelings in this episode. The sense of impending doom comes from the way in which it is written, directed and acted. Compare this to the previous four episodes and ask yourself if you even needed to watch any of them? This is what it's all about. Yes, there's a whole load of paradox crap and timey wimey nonsense, but that's just something we have to accept is a part of the Moffat-driven era. The vibe here is what we want more of - the darkness, difficult choices and the Doctor's emotions and mistakes at the forefront of all that's going on, rather than his hilarious jokes and ability to run through corridors at lightning speed. Moody Doctor Who is best.

Review: Looper isn't as loopy as you might expect

Time travel. Any writer daring to dabble in this department has their work cut out for them. Every action has a reaction, and so on and so forth. So, when reactions to things start happening before the actions that cause them, well - you get the picture. Looper is full of these sorts of moments and they're moments that wouldn't make sense anywhere else, moments that'd have you chucking popcorn at the screen in utter frustration. But here, it's more of a 'no questions asked' affair. The film doesn't promise any answers to the questions we might have and it never tries to guess what we're thinking. It gives us just as much info as we need to understand the story rather than the science because, after all, everybody knows a good story makes a fab movie.

Questions & answers

Do we really need all the answers? Heaps of those who watched and enjoyed Lost were left bitterly disappointed by the end of the 6th season's finale when a good 99% of the whacky goings on upon the island weren't properly explained. And, most recently, Prometheus caused a stir by asking far too many questions about the origins of existence itself and making zero effort to answer any of them at all.

Review: Doctor Who - 'Riding Dinosaurs on a Spaceship'

 Warning: Spoilers here, to the sound of trumpety music. 

Doctor Who's answer to Jurassic Park is an episode filled with dinosaurs and spaceships and it should be brilliant. This, this is just awful.

Honest to god - can anybody fathom why there needs to be such a constant flow of comedic, bouncy music running through the entire episode? Again - it should be fine, it should just be a right laugh and a heap of fun  - nothing wrong with that - but it doesn't sit right. Not one bit. There's every opportunity here to create a serious science fiction show that has a sense of humour - simple. The problem with Doctor Who is that it's 90% pantomime and 10% making up for the lack of genuine drama with childish slapstick and melodramatics. For exaxmple, the two robots that feature in this episode are quite entertaining, like something from Hitchiker's Guide, but was there any room for them? Did they ever really have a purpose, or a chance to shine, or were they simply squeezed in because Doctor Who's got to be so fucking hilarious these days? Quit it with the comedy act!

Review: "Oh shit!" It's Total Recall!

 Warning: Some very real, very true spoilers included, no lie. 

Total Recall is one of those films that thinks it's totally cool, dude, but isn't - *cough*Battleship*cough* - it's a lens flare fest of giant proportions, a relentless bombardment of CGI and cringe worthy dialogue. No matter how many ladies' boobs it cheekily shoves in your face, it's impossible to see past the fact it's got a few more than three flaws.

Review: Doctor Who - 'Eggsylum of the Daleks'

  Warning: SPOIL - ERS! SPOIL - ERS! 

The Daleks, at one point in the history of Doctor Who, were actually quite scary. Then, they got into a horrible pattern where they're killed by the Doctor, all of them, every last one of them - and then, a few episodes later, they all come back to life and the Doctor kills them all again. And again. And again. And we're bored. And again. And they're not scary any more - fact. So much so that Karen Gillan (Amy Pond) admits she's "never been completely scared of the Daleks," and showrunner Steven Moffat says "there's a slight danger with the Daleks that you might start to think they're cute." And, regarding the show's 7th season opening episode, he said he's successfully made them "scary again", "properly vicious" - which is a bit rich considering we are treated to hearing a Dalek with a girls voice, crying a little bit.

The Doc's 54 seconds of 'Pond Life'

Watch the first episode of a Doctor Who online-only miniseries entitled 'Pond Life' after the jump, in which the Doctor does his usual 'running about as if he's in a comedy' routine. That, and quite frankly absurd activities that'd kill a character in any other sci-fi with half a brain, such as surfing - wait for it - on fire. Yes.

Podcast #2 - Bad sci-fi

For those of you who were big fans of HCTV's first podcast, gleefully listening to it on your way to work, or on the lavatory, brace yourselves - here's another one! This time we're delving deeper, asking what it is that makes us human and what our purpose might be, here on Earth... Well, almost!

Roo & Will take to the microphone a second time to discuss why some sci-fi turns out so bad and which genres of film and telly are the most believable. Mull over a shoddy third installment of Men In Black, a consistantly disastrous Doctor Who, an undeniably pretty-looking Prometheus & the ultimate in whacky space operas - frelling Farscape! Keep up to date with HCTV's podcasts by going here (or by following the link over on the right), and then clicking 'Subscribe with iTunes' on our Podomatic sidebar.

Misfits is the new Sugababes

Misfits was fairly groundbreaking back in the day, long before it turned into the TV show equivilent of The Sugababes. A brilliantly casted bunch of loud-mouthed teenagers end up with super powers after a freaky storm - great idea. What's more, their story is set on a scummy council estate, which means there's loads of what we're all big fans of here - sex, drugs and violence. Most of the time it's far more of a comedy than it is a drama, with Nathan providing the majority of laughs... But then, he buggered off.

Doctor Who Season 7: Running through a corridor near you...

Doctor Who is terrible. Bloody awful. Really quite naff. Flooded with plot holes, inconsistencies and convenient moments that eliminate any feeling of genuine threat - if only it took itself a touch more seriously instead of running up and down corridors bellowing, "GERONIMO!" at every given opportunity. If it just had the courage to go through with storylines that are brave, risky and ultimately, shockingly original. The potential has always been there and sometimes the show gets remarkably close to reinventing itself, but, unfortunately, it always inevitably spirals back down into this weirdly revolting pool of shit and puss that roughly translates onto our TV screens as a man wearing a bow tie who always saves the day thanks to some bizare coincidence or by simply using his now all-purpose sonic scredriver that could destroy a planet if it wanted.

"I'm nobody's puppet!" - Jonathan Hardy dies at 71

It is a sad day. Jonathan Hardy, the man whose voice brought Farscape's Rygel to life, has died.

Without Jonathan's brilliant vocal talent Rygel may never have become science fiction's littlest, wittiest, most bad-ass and emotionally complex piece of puppetry. He'd kick Yoda's ass any day. And he will be fondly remembered.

Review: Why Prometheus isn't perfect

  Warning: Completely ruins all the surprises 

It's good, it is - really! The idea is huge, the 'feel' is perfect, the score is brilliant and the pacing is fabulous. It's almost a perfect movie. No lie. And it looks gorgeous. However, the reason it doesn't quite hit the spot completely is because of a shit load of paint-by-numbers characters, the ridiculous decisions they constantly make and a whole heap of terribly wasteful storytelling. 

Ben there, done that!

Ben Mitchell, the east end's most notorious homosexual psychopath, is capable of just about anything. That's a fact. He pushed lovely Glenda down the stairs and he managed to psychologically disturb his father, hard-man Phil Mitchell (and the rest of us) with secret messages and a stash of black envelopes. He even burned his little sister with a hot teaspoon in the style of the crazy psycho bitch who taught him how it's all done - Stella.

The SFX Geek-fest 2012

It has to be said that Prestatyn doesn't look like the sort of town that gets a lot of action. Traditionally, geeks don't either, so what better place to hold the 3rd annual SFX Weekender?!

SFX's 2nd event was impressive, but was the 3rd year better? Well, yes, it was. How about Pontins? No. Hell no. Actually it was probably worse. It's amazing how after a few minutes of downpour the entire holiday park floods. It's strange how they think they can get away with keeping almost every chalet freezing cold, holding back on the hot water, supplying broken fridges and, most importantly, refusing to clean up the majority of the previous holidaymaker's pubic hairs off the bathroom floor.