Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D

  Warning: Blood splattered spoilers - in 2D! 

This latest Texas Chainsaw adaptation/sequel/reboot in a long line of adaptations/sequels/reboots is horrific, but not in the way you'd expect. It's so shockingly empty and uneventful, so dull and so bland, so predictable and remorselessly unaffected by any sort of desire to put out something new or in any way imaginative or - and here's the ultimate flaw - scary. Basically, it's a brainless excuse to shower a 3D-goggle wearing audience with masses of blood and gore that's so unrealistic it's laughable, so why the hell John Lussenhop felt the need to put so much of it in is unfathomable.

Review: Kids seeing Frankenweenie need Parental Guidance

 Warning: Spoilers - in black & white. 

Frankenweenie is supposed to be a spooky black and white cartoon caper for kids that'd probably have looked a lot nicer in colour and would be better suited shoved into the schedules on Nickleodeon. There's very little here that's cinema worthy - it's short on laughs, lacking a nifty story arc and it's all very one-dimensional (which is ironic considering it's been released in 3D). Victor's parents are the most neglectful to have ever been animated, but as a member of the audience you'll feel just as neglected as their morbid son.

Podcast #8 - It doesn't matter if you Trick or Treat

Join Roo & Will for a DVD quiz, testing your knowledge of movie blurbs, before moving onto a discussion about Halloween and the movies that generally go hand in hand with the special spooky day. 

How do you deal with trick or treaters? Can they speak properly? Who is Professor Green? What are our thoughts on Michael Jackson and his many whacky adventures? All these questions will be answered in this, HCTV's 8th amazing podcast!

Find all the previous episodes by visiting HCTV's Podcomatic page here, or you can click the logo on the right hand side of the blog whenever you fancy popping back for some more. Be sure to subscribe with iTunes so that it's on you iPod for those horrendous journey's into work!

Review: Enjoy Sinister's spooks while they last

  Warning: A terrifying number of spoilers lurk below! 

Sinister does a fabulous job at setting the scene, switching the lights off and putting us through several nights of sheer hell. A strange soundtrack adds to the suspense as we watch tech-savvy Ellison Oswalt piece together facts and figures from creepily grainy footage of gruesome deaths. It's just that, as with almost every single spooky or ghost-orientated film that's been made in the past couple of decades, the ending is not as scary as it thinks it is and actually sort of ruins all the good stuff that comes before - and it is really very good stuff.

Shopping List October 2012 - Cabins, aliens & hedgehogs

October is a scary month for many reasons - Halloween is in it, the nights get darker quicker and it's the closest month to Christmas so far this year. But put all the fear out of your mind for a moment and look on the bright side! October is the start of winter coats, hot drinks, fairy lights and cosying up to fireplaces. If SAD is starting to get you down, why not pop out to the shops or spend some dosh online - here's everything you could possibly desire 'til November! (Be sure to have a look at last month's list too!)

Zap! Reviews - The Cabin In The Woods & The Avengers

Be sure to check out this brand new 'Zap! Review', which sees Roo deliver his opinion on both The Avengers and The Cabin In The Woods at maximum speed.

What's so shocking about the fact that both these movies aren't just good, but really good, is that they are essentially old, tired ideas. Superhero movies have been done to death and The Cabin In The Woods had the potential of being yet another Final Destination or Scream-type kill-fest where the whole point is to just watch adolescents get picked off one by one, some with their tits out while it happens.