New ideas for sitcoms are dreamed up every year, but very few of them capture the nation's imagination. However, there's something different about the next brilliant sitcom to come from us Brits (potentially). It's an Eastenders spin-off called 'Off the Rails!'... Maybe.
Is this a fab idea or is this a fab idea? Ian could end up on the streets once more, grow another beard and constantly talk about his once thriving empire to a drugged up Phil Mitchell, who's presumably managed to escape some sort of high security prison. He's on the run, blamed for a murder he didn't commit - for once! As a result, we get to see him dress up in all sorts of hilarious disguises! The possibilities here are endless!
The question is why? Why would this all be happening? What's pushing the story forward? Easy! Ben Mitchell, Phil's son and Ian's brother, has gone on a killing spree in a bid to try and get revenge for his father's injustice. Twisted logic, granted, but this is Ben Mitchell folks! He's also become a half-human half-robot scientific genius capable of cloning Heather Trott from some of the DNA she left on her toothbrush before he whacked her over the head with Shirley's photo frame. He's hunting for his brother and father because he's developed a magical substance that, if swallowed, can make them 'mentally well' again. However, because they're so mentally unwell, they live under the assumption he's trying to find them to kill them too! They keep seeing his latest murders on the news, terrified they'll be next! Funny stuff!
Ian & Phil end up squatting in a flat together somewhere behind the chippy, sneaking out at night for supplies, accidentally injuring a few unimportant local residents as they go. They share stories of their old lives and end up in some pretty darn funny scenarios as they try to dodge the watchful eye of Ian's daughter, Lucy, who now owns the chippy and, unbeknown to them, is also fully aware that they're both sneaking about the place. She finds their new bromance together quite sweet and tries to help out as best she can, but she's constantly overlooked as our two heroes assume their clothes are magically washed and ironed some mornings by the 'crack fairy', who's also responsible for the large quantities of drugs that are piling up in the corner of their lounge. Neither one can remember how they acquire such huge amounts of - well, you name it! - but Billy Mitchell's stash just keeps on dissapearing! Coincidence?! The hilariousness writes itself!
And, there'll of course be plenty of ENORMOUS explosions in the movie version of 'Off the Rails!' that would follow the 10 or 11 seasons that would surely be comissioned if this was a genuine proposal for a brand new brit-com.
Roo