Metal Gear Solid will finally become a movie

It's been a long time coming but at last the stealthy CGI world of Solid Snake and chums will make it to the big screen! A film version was announced at the 25th anniversary event in Tokyo and Avi Arad has already signed up! It's actually going to happen! It's actually becoming a thing! How cool is that?! Let's put on our fanciest camouflage and celebrate!

Review: The Imposter is real & scarily dull

 Warning: There may be a few spoilers ahead, can you identify them? 

The Imposter is based on a true story. Stranger than fiction yadda yadda yadda. I, personally, went into the movie theatre under the impression it was one of those fancy fake-umentaries, and it didn't do the greatest job of convincing me it wasn't. It's repetitive, drawn out, has an incredibly uninteresting middle section and, despite a few rather sinister twists, leaves you in the same place you were when you sat your ass down to watch it in the first place.

Competition: WIN Tobey Maguire's Spider-man boxset!

No, you numpty - not Toby Maguire's own personal copy (although that'd be a far more attractive prize).

HCTV is half way to 10 years! Wowza. And, to celebrate such a skull shatteringly exciting event, we've already released some old pictures of how the website’s looked over the years, but that’s not all! This bit is a competition - yes! A chance to win something splendid that involves next to no effort on your part whatsoever! HCTV has the original Tobey Maguire-filled Spider-man trilogy on Blu-ray and a badge that says ‘I ♥ HELLOCAKETV’ on it – and it’s all up for grabs! Simply like the HCTV Facebook page before Friday 14th September and you’re automatically in with a chance of winning!

The Doc's 54 seconds of 'Pond Life'

Watch the first episode of a Doctor Who online-only miniseries entitled 'Pond Life' after the jump, in which the Doctor does his usual 'running about as if he's in a comedy' routine. That, and quite frankly absurd activities that'd kill a character in any other sci-fi with half a brain, such as surfing - wait for it - on fire. Yes.

HCTV is 5

HCTV has been around for five entire years. That's a ruddy long time!

"How come this blog only dates back to 2011?!" - now that's easy! HCTV's been on the face of the planet for five years and since it first rocketed into existence in 2007 as a mere video blog, it's changed an awful lot. It started on Youtube, gradually building more and more of an audience and, as this happened, it became clear that the channel needed to offer more than just Roo's boring old face - so sketches started happening and movie reviews and pretty much anything that meant it was all a lot more exciting for everyone! As a result, Youtube decided HCTV's content was too cunting 'edgy' for its innocent little eyes and everything was wiped. Roo swore never to return. But, HCTV lived on, on it's own flashy website for a few years - splendid - until it needed to reach a bigger audience once again. So, Roo swallowed his pride and signed back up to Youtube. Then it became a blog about movie and TV stuff and the rest is fucking history.

Eastenders spin-off could be new British sitcom?

New ideas for sitcoms are dreamed up every year, but very few of them capture the nation's imagination. However, there's something different about the next brilliant sitcom to come from us Brits (potentially). It's an Eastenders spin-off called 'Off the Rails!'... Maybe.

Is this a fab idea or is this a fab idea? Ian could end up on the streets once more, grow another beard and constantly talk about his once thriving empire to a drugged up Phil Mitchell, who's presumably managed to escape some sort of high security prison. He's on the run, blamed for a murder he didn't commit - for once! As a result, we get to see him dress up in all sorts of hilarious disguises! The possibilities here are endless!

Podcast #3 - Advertising

How would you advertise HCTV? That's one of the many advertising-related topics discussed in HCTV's 3rd exciting podcast, complete with new theme tune! Is advertising, in general, too politically correct? Do you feel special when you buy a snack from KFC? Which is the most irritating cheese-related rhyming advert? Find the answers below! Click play or go to HCTV's Podomatic page to subscribe with iTunes!

Review: "The Bourne Legacy is like riding a bicycle..."

"In order to keep your balance, you must keep moving." (Albert Einstein said that, sort of.)

And, for the most part, it does. As a member of its audience, you are up to your neck in pure intensity. It's not James Bond - spy heavy, filled with naked ladies - and it's not Mission Impossible, with heaps of running around and mahoosive explosions. No, it's more like the cleverest bits of both those movies - the twisty plots and cunning dialogue - injected with a tad bit of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy's magnificent sense of style. It's fast and furious, yes, but it's also packed with 'feelings' as well as stress. There's an uncontrollable sense of despiration right the way through. But, towards the end, that desperation is coming from us. We're desperate to go home and watch Celeb Big Bro.

The X Factory

The X Factor is gracing our television screens once again tomorrow night. Why? Well, that's a mystery to those who can't see past what is now quite obviously the ancient, withered, formulaic structure of a show through which, each year, exactly the same things happen, in usually exactly the same order but, and here's the clever part, with different faces stuck on. We all love a healthy bit of competition, but the X Factor has turned into a big fake drama. It's the next WWE! Soon Gary Barlow will be breaking chairs over contenstants' backs! It's scripted and edited to within an inch of its life, all the while violantly announcing that it's desperate to discover somebody in the UK who's got that 'X' factor when, in actual fact, even if they enter the competition with the oh-so rare bleedin' X factor everyone yaps on about, they leave the show having been cloned into a ballad-bashing bore.

Podcast #2 - Bad sci-fi

For those of you who were big fans of HCTV's first podcast, gleefully listening to it on your way to work, or on the lavatory, brace yourselves - here's another one! This time we're delving deeper, asking what it is that makes us human and what our purpose might be, here on Earth... Well, almost!

Roo & Will take to the microphone a second time to discuss why some sci-fi turns out so bad and which genres of film and telly are the most believable. Mull over a shoddy third installment of Men In Black, a consistantly disastrous Doctor Who, an undeniably pretty-looking Prometheus & the ultimate in whacky space operas - frelling Farscape! Keep up to date with HCTV's podcasts by going here (or by following the link over on the right), and then clicking 'Subscribe with iTunes' on our Podomatic sidebar.

Review: Ted is softer than he looks

 Warning: Freakin' spoilers! 

 

Ted should feel like Family Guy, but it doesn't. Ted should come across as a teddy bear replacement for Peter Griffin, but he doesn't. The film feels new and fresh - an original take on tired ideas. And now that CGI characters are everywhere we turn, advertising cereal and toothpaste, it's easy to forget that films like this are masterpieces - Ted is utterly convincing. He interacts with everything around him and he's a real life, talking, drug taking, binge drinking teddy bear. That's just the way it is. Get used to it.

New Skyfall posters & trailer

HCTV's managed to grab an exclusive look at a brand new poster for the latest addition to the James Bond series, Skyfall... Alright, maybe it's not 'exclusive', but who'd want to brag about having seen this first anyway? It's naff! There's been a much sexier one released, and you can see that if you press the big red 'read more' button...

Misfits is the new Sugababes

Misfits was fairly groundbreaking back in the day, long before it turned into the TV show equivilent of The Sugababes. A brilliantly casted bunch of loud-mouthed teenagers end up with super powers after a freaky storm - great idea. What's more, their story is set on a scummy council estate, which means there's loads of what we're all big fans of here - sex, drugs and violence. Most of the time it's far more of a comedy than it is a drama, with Nathan providing the majority of laughs... But then, he buggered off.

Malcolm In The Middle, in the end...

What's so great about shows like Malcolm In The Middle is that they don't shy away from being completely bonkers. They proper go for it, diving in head first and leaving the audience confused - stunned, even. It's the broader minded folks who don't let that get in the way of ploughing through the initial stage of overwhelming weirdness to go on and discover what's undeniably one of the funniest and most inventive sitcoms to have ever been shown on our teleboxes. While it had a few rough patches where it seemed to lose its footing momentarily, for the most part it stayed true to its characters and, most importantly, kept on being funny.

Podcast #1 - Children's TV

As you may or may not be aware, making video blogs is quite a long and complicated process these days. So, due to the fact HCTV isn't anywhere near as video-heavy as it used to be, it has been decided that Podcasts are now our new 'in thing'. Let them be yours too!

And now for the introduction: It's a brand new feature for HCTV starring your favourite two 'old skool' video bloggers, Roo & Will! Take a seat and brace yourself for our very first podcast and a fun little chat about good old fashioned children's TV. From Mark Speight's untimely demise to The Powerpuff Girls and Dexter's Lab, completely unscripted and hopefully quite funny, we're off to a flying start! You can click play below, or go here (there's also a link in the side bar) to keep fully up to date, episode after episode.

Doctor Who Season 7: Running through a corridor near you...

Doctor Who is terrible. Bloody awful. Really quite naff. Flooded with plot holes, inconsistencies and convenient moments that eliminate any feeling of genuine threat - if only it took itself a touch more seriously instead of running up and down corridors bellowing, "GERONIMO!" at every given opportunity. If it just had the courage to go through with storylines that are brave, risky and ultimately, shockingly original. The potential has always been there and sometimes the show gets remarkably close to reinventing itself, but, unfortunately, it always inevitably spirals back down into this weirdly revolting pool of shit and puss that roughly translates onto our TV screens as a man wearing a bow tie who always saves the day thanks to some bizare coincidence or by simply using his now all-purpose sonic scredriver that could destroy a planet if it wanted.

Misremembered TV & Movie Quotes - Vol. 2

If you've ever watched a film or TV show, thought a particular piece of dialogue was quite fantastic and then tried to remember it a few days later, you'll bear with HCTV as it continues building a collection of some of the best loved quotes ever mumbled.. You can see the last batch here.

There's more after the jump...