Sunday, 30 September 2012

Review: Looper isn't as loopy as you might expect

 Comments
Time travel. Any writer daring to dabble in this department has their work cut out for them. Every action has a reaction, and so on and so forth. So, when reactions to things start happening before the actions that cause them, well - you get the picture. Looper is full of these sorts of moments and they're moments that wouldn't make sense anywhere else, moments that'd have you chucking popcorn at the screen in utter frustration. But here, it's more of a 'no questions asked' affair. The film doesn't promise any answers to the questions we might have and it never tries to guess what we're thinking. It gives us just as much info as we need to understand the story rather than the science because, after all, everybody knows a good story makes a fab movie.

Friday, 28 September 2012

Misremembered TV & Movie Quotes - Vol. 3

 Comments
Have you ever been enjoying a film or TV show and heard a wonderful line of dialogue you thought you'd never forget? Did you then forget said wonderful line of dialogue the very next day? Don't fear! HCTV is here to fill in the gaps, building a list that's growing longer every month of those quotes you wish you'd written down! Don't forget to check out the first and second collection too!


There's more after the jump...

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Review: Doctor Who - 'The Power of BBC Three'

 Comments


 Warning: Spoilers ahead. Read them rather than watching the ep, honestly.  

To be fair, this ep would've probably gotten a full five stars if those hilarious little orange aliens from the old BBC Three idents had shown up instead of those boring black cubes that promised much more of a mystery than they delivered.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Review: Hope Springs gets harder than it looks...

 Comments


Hope Springs is a bit like The Five Year Engagement, yet completely different. They're both about couples facing serious problems with their relationships. One couple wants to get married and the other one has been married for over thirty years. With both, you sit in the cinema expecting more of a comedy than you get, because it slowly reveals itself as more of an emotionally heavy, tear-inducing, armrest-clenching drama than a quirky little romcom. One, however, delves even deeper than the other...

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Shouldn't have gone to Specsavers

 Comments
The following video will have you learning why movie-goers need to ensure they get the correct prescription for their glasses! We've got to wear two pairs and feel like we're in the science labs at school whenever we see a 3D movie - so we may as well do it right! Specsavers is not the place to go if you're after things that are done right, here's why...

 

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Bilbo's 'Unexpected Journey' gets a new trailer

 Comments


Are you a humungous fan of The Lord Of The Rings? Your pants are most likely already damp at the sight of Bilbo's name, but wait for this next sentence! He's at the centre of a brand new movie (based on a really old book) called 'The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey', telling the story of whacky adventures he's had with Gandalf, Golum and a bunch of dwarves. And, there's a new trailer - you can catch it by clicking 'read more'!

Monday, 17 September 2012

Podcast #5 - Jeremy Kyle, Dexter & Batman

 Comments
Ready for another podcast? Roo & Will take to the mic a fifth time to talk about appearing on Trisha, how she compares to Jeremy Kyle and how Bane & Batman might sound if they were to sit down and have a chat about such things. Christmas is also discussed, so are aunties with wooden puzzles, Dexter, Saw and Goodnight Mr Tom! Liven up a journey to work by downloading podcast number five, or by subscribing via iTunes on HCTV's Podomatic page.

Be sure to leave a comment - tell us what your favourite bits are and what you'd like to hear debated in future podcasts. On top of that, share them amongst your friends on Twitter, you may even be rewarded! (Note - rewards will not include light sexual favors.) Follow @hellocaketv while you're at it.

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Questions & answers

 Comments


Do we really need all the answers? Heaps of those who watched and enjoyed Lost were left bitterly disappointed by the end of the 6th season's finale when a good 99% of the whacky goings on upon the island weren't properly explained. And, most recently, Prometheus caused a stir by asking far too many questions about the origins of existence itself and making zero effort to answer any of them at all.

Review: Doctor Who - 'A Town Called Mercy'...

 Comments


... and a horse called Susane.

 Warning: Neigh! Neigh! Neigh! (That's a spoiler warning in 'horse'...)  

Looks like Steven Moffat's shown us some mercy! At long last! An episode of Doctor Who that's ridiculously brilliant, almost beyond measure. Completely perfect. Nothing wrong with it whatsoever - five stars. Well, almost. Nearly. No, sorry, not at all. In an ideal world, maybe, but this - it's bearable and that makes a most welcome change. Instead of legging it through narrow spaces as he'd usually be doing on a Saturday night, the Doctor seems to take a breather, have a few conversations and save a town, rather than the entire universe. Nice.

Friday, 14 September 2012

The Spider-man DVD competition winner is...

 Comments
Good lord, we have a winner! Congrats to Craig McFadyen - he's won HCTV's super-special birthday competition!


As you may recall, back when it was HCTV's 5th birthday, a competition was launched and it was decided that the winner would get a Spider-man DVD box set, as well as a nifty little HCTV badge, on Friday 14th September 2012 - that's today! All everyone had to do was click 'like' on HCTV's Facebook page, and it feels fabulous to report that we had a very pleasant response - but the competition is now well and truly closed. So tough luck if you missed out!

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Review: Doctor Who - 'Riding Dinosaurs on a Spaceship'

 Comments
 Warning: Spoilers here, to the sound of trumpety music. 

Doctor Who's answer to Jurassic Park is an episode filled with dinosaurs and spaceships and it should be brilliant. This, this is just awful.

Honest to god - can anybody fathom why there needs to be such a constant flow of comedic, bouncy music running through the entire episode? Again - it should be fine, it should just be a right laugh and a heap of fun  - nothing wrong with that - but it doesn't sit right. Not one bit. There's every opportunity here to create a serious science fiction show that has a sense of humour - simple. The problem with Doctor Who is that it's 90% pantomime and 10% making up for the lack of genuine drama with childish slapstick and melodramatics. For exaxmple, the two robots that feature in this episode are quite entertaining, like something from Hitchiker's Guide, but was there any room for them? Did they ever really have a purpose, or a chance to shine, or were they simply squeezed in because Doctor Who's got to be so fucking hilarious these days? Quit it with the comedy act!

Monday, 10 September 2012

Podcast #4 - Olympics Vs Paralympics

 Comments

It's all over ladies and gents! We never thought it would be, but finally the Olympics, the Paralympics, the whole lot - finished. It's been an emotional rollercoaster for everybody involved and one that's been truly splendid for us to watch unfold on our televisions. We'll surely tell our grandchildren about how lucky we were to be around when it happened... But, which is better? The Olympics or the Paralympics? There's only one way to find out!

After a few weeks of radio silence, Roo & Will return to discuss why the Olympics seems to get slightly more attention than the Paralympics, among plenty of other interesting topics such as wank banks, flags, stabbings, strange noises and what there is to do on Christmas day. Fascinating stuff as usual! Tune in via the player below, or go here to subscribe with iTunes!


Sunday, 9 September 2012

Review: Lawless is bloody brilliant

 Comments
 Warning: One or two gunslinging spoilers lay ahead! 

Lawless is a wildly intense and frighteningly brutal gangster film adaptation of Matt Bondurant's book, 'The Wettest County in the World', and they're both based on a true story - which is a bit scary! It's crammed with a whole bunch of truly top notch actors who stroll about doing a lot of killing because there's some chaps bootlegging liquor who shouldn't be! That'll be Forrest, Howard and Jack - they're in big trouble pretty much from start to finish, because some posh git off the Titanic really, quite desperately, wants to shoot them in the face - this man is Special Agent Charlie Rakes, and he's had a terrible temper ever since someone stole the middle of his hair.

Friday, 7 September 2012

Will Albert Square give 'Chryed' a happy ending?

 Comments


Big soapy gays Syed & Christian are due to leave the happy world of Walford later this year, it has been revealed - but will they be leaving together, or in seperate black cabs after half an hour of shouting and crying? Only time will tell.

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Shopping List September 2012 - Dexter, Daleks & Daley

 Comments
September's already here and we're ferociously hurtling our way towards Christmas day faster than we'd like. Pay day's just been and we've only a short while left to spend money on ourselves before we need to start splashing out on everyone around us. What's worth buying, then? Here's 10 TV and film-related bits and bobs you need in your shopping basket...

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Review: "Oh shit!" It's Total Recall!

 Comments




 Warning: Some very real, very true spoilers included, no lie. 

Total Recall is one of those films that thinks it's totally cool, dude, but isn't - *cough*Battleship*cough* - it's a lens flare fest of giant proportions, a relentless bombardment of CGI and cringe worthy dialogue. No matter how many ladies' boobs it cheekily shoves in your face, it's impossible to see past the fact it's got a few more than three flaws.

Saturday, 1 September 2012

Review: Doctor Who - 'Eggsylum of the Daleks'

 Comments


  Warning: SPOIL - ERS! SPOIL - ERS! 

The Daleks, at one point in the history of Doctor Who, were actually quite scary. Then, they got into a horrible pattern where they're killed by the Doctor, all of them, every last one of them - and then, a few episodes later, they all come back to life and the Doctor kills them all again. And again. And again. And we're bored. And again. And they're not scary any more - fact. So much so that Karen Gillan (Amy Pond) admits she's "never been completely scared of the Daleks," and showrunner Steven Moffat says "there's a slight danger with the Daleks that you might start to think they're cute." And, regarding the show's 7th season opening episode, he said he's successfully made them "scary again", "properly vicious" - which is a bit rich considering we are treated to hearing a Dalek with a girls voice, crying a little bit.