If you've recently watched charlieissocoollike's two-part video, 'My YouTube Rules', you should know exactly how to go about creating a fairly decent video blog, apparently. However, CheekTV has already addressed that some of the things ol' Charlie bangs on about in his video seem a tad 'off', shall we say. So, here's HCTV's niftier set of tips (well, rules, really) for making the best Youtube Vlog that a person can.
- Firstly, it is imperative that you leave a comment on this post, rate it, share it, then go and do the same with all the HCTV videos, being sure to also subscribe to the Youtube channel, follow HCTV on Twitter and like HCTV on Facebook. This is all extremely important.
- Always refer to your audience as 'cunt'. Always. For example, "Hi cunts, thanks for watching!" It's very personal. Tends to go down a treat. They love it. You're sure to get plenty of comments that way!
- Don't make videos for anyone. Not yourself, not who's watching, nobody whatsoever. Just do it in the hope that perhaps you might like the finished project and, perhaps, someone out there will actually watch the damn thing too. It's not a hobby, it's a habit. Like picking your nose on the tube. The majority of people will watch in disgust but, somewhere on the London Underground, there's a perv who'll get off on it.
- Youtube's 'annotations' invention is the most astonashingly brilliant thing to exist since sliced bread. Use annotations in your videos anywhere and everywhere you can. Your cunts at home love a surprise, so when one of these blue bastards pop up over your face insisting they should go and check out some other video you've half-heartedly thrown together - they just will!
- Ensure that the thumbnail on your video is a pair of tits and that whatever its true content, it's titled 'XXX Naked Lesbian Sex Orgy'. That'll be sure to get you some clicks. And maybe a few comments.
- If you're offered any kind of business opportunity, take it. But, only if it pays enough cash to get you off Tesco's 'Everyday Value' range for a good couple of weeks.
- And finally, create a schedule, do an Excel spreadsheet and write sticky notes and stick them everywhere, reminding yourself that you need to attend to your cunts at the VERY least FIVE times a week because they simply cannot live without your opinion on those damn lines at the cinema - and then, don't do a video for six months. By then you'll have so many ideas that your next video is bound to be mind-blowing. And, all your cunt-fans will have been so looking forward to your return, you're bound to get hundreds and hundreds, if not hundreds of views. And maybe some comments.
Roo