Review: Quartet is four times what you think it'll be

Quartet is one of those films that at first looks as if it could have been shown on ITV1, that you half-heartedly waltz into the cinema to watch thinking you're probably not going to enjoy very much. Not because it looks awful, but because it's filled with old people and it's about old stuff and you think, perhaps rightly so, that it's a film aimed at old people so they can look at all the old people in it and say, "These people are old, just like me!" - and you'd be majorly, incredibly, massively wrong. Perhaps the most wrong you've ever been in your life, in fact. It's quite simply an unforgettable picture led by a fantastic cast of the best selection of British actors who've all been pointed and shouted at by Dustin Hoffman - this is the very first movie he's directed and he's done a bloody good job of it! But you're probably wondering how it can be so darn good when it doesn't even feature the smallest of explosions!?

Review: The Hobbit - An Unexpectedly lengthy Journey

 Warning: Spoilers, you fools! 

It's not that it's too long - nearly three hours worth of storytelling is perfectly acceptable for a good movie - it's that it quite simply hasn't got enough stuff to fill such a big gap. So, instead, it pads itself out with long lingering looks or dwarves singing or slow-mo fight scenes or shots of mountains... You see, The Hobbit is a short book really, compared to The Lord Of The Rings, and it's a 'small-scale' story. There's plenty here that would be cut if the plan was a two-film tale as opposed to the trilogy we've got ahead of us - and it'd be cut because it's no good. It's filler, not killer. Dull. Maybe it worked in the book but on the screen it's just there because it is. But, somewhere in there, there's a few bits and pieces that make you go all wibbly inside and remind us why LOTR was such fun!

Kat Slater's secret lover REVEALED!

Digital Spy has told us that "EastEnders favourite Alfie Moon is left devastated... as the reveal of Kat's mystery lover proves to be the final straw for his troubled marriage." And it's no wonder really, as the reason she's been so secretive over the true identity of the bloke she's been banging is because the bloke is actually a lady and the lady is actually her barmaid, Tracy! In much the same way her long forgotten daughter Zoe did, she's been dabbling in the lesbian arena - and now it's time for her to come clean. And it's all just in time for Christmas!

Shopping List December 2012 - Five gifts you want for Xmas

Christmas is right around the corner and children everywhere are ready to burst with excitement at the thought of unwrapping an iPhone 5, Wii U or 3D TV on the big day. Sucks, doesn't it, how the magic has been torn from the festive season. Since when did all a child care about become the latest electrical gadgets, Furbys and Doctor Who? What happened to teddy bears, board games and wearing silly hats? Never mind. What follows is a list of five fab gift ideas the child inside all us geeky adults really wishes for come the 25th (if we survive that long)!

Review: The Life of Pi, plus some bits either side

 Roaring: There's a couple of mild spoilers beneath the surface! 

The book of ‘The Life of Pi’ is probably a lot better than the film. Without having read it, the adventure we see here is astounding, even jaw dropping. Despite the gobsmackability of the picture, it seems that there’s an awful lot included that the movie doesn’t really need, bogging it down either end – which is a shame, because the proper meat of the story is magical and exciting and beautiful and has a tiger in it… So, yay for the tiger! But if a lorry load extra filler nonsense was chopped from the edit, we’d have a more concise, less jarring movie to watch! However, bear in mind that a lot of what comes across as needless in the film is probably smashing to read in the book, because it’s no doubt fully explored. Here, it just serves to make everything seem surprisingly long winded, making the ‘oomph’ factor a little trickier to find - but rest assured it’s in there somewhere!

New 'Man of Steel' poster reveals Superman's dark side

A brand new poster has been released for the next Superman movie, 'Man of Steel', due for release in the UK 14th June next year. It looks as though this new adventure will follow in the footsteps of The Dark Knight Rises and delve deeper into the 'darker side' of the character, as he's seen being escorted from his local Aldi after having been spotted using his ability to move faster than the speed of light to sneak past the tills without paying for his groceries.