2012 has been a massive year for cinema. Bond struck back with Skyfall, The Hunger Games began, Spider-man did it all over again and The Cabin In The Woods pretty much reinvented everything we know about horror. Prometheus both amazed and appalled audiences, The Hobbit was either too long or not long enough and nobody even knew John Carter happened. The Avengers did 'comic book movie' better than ever before and Batman finished his run. It's been epic - so here's the best and the worst of the lot of it...!
The ultimate geek-gasm, this movie served as a nod to everything that's ever been made before it, but also as a way to uproot it all, squash it up and then morph into something completely brand new - and quite shocking! Witty and terrifying all at once, The Cabin in the Woods didn't bluff a single time and went further than many other movies are willing to go. It seemed to constantly be writing itself into a corner, before it would magnificently explode its way out of it each time, leaving us feeling unsafe, manipulated and out of breath! Perhaps it's not as exciting to watch a second time round, but that's largely due to the fact you can analyse the way Joss Whedon went about fucking you up back when you saw it the first time, sat in the movie theatre, chucking popcorn over your shoulder with fright! Years from now this will certainly be looked at as the film that changed the game...
Prometheus is crammed with unanswered questions, unsolved problems and, let's face it, an unacceptable number of plot holes. It enraged audiences who were expecting more than it gave them and there are millions who'd shove it in a list of the worst movies released in 2012... That said, it's fucking enjoyable and bloody creepy. The first viewing, again, is the most enjoyable because you simply have no idea which way the story will turn next. Will a man be eaten by an angry worm, or will a psychotic mutation burst through someone's stomach? The delete scenes on the 3D Blu-ray release may shed some light on why certain bits didn't sit right in the cinematic release, but for sheer vision, style and scares, Prometheus is a blast! Ignore the script and soak up the atmosphere!
Daniel Craig is the most believable Bond to date and up until recently it was his first ever venture into the franchise, Casino Royale, that had become everybody's favourite Bond film. (The less said about Quantum of Solace the better.) Then came Skyfall, Adele and billions of pounds worth of bums on seats as his third outing as 007 became one of the best received films of the year, generating so much hype and success it's enough to knock you from your swivel chair. It's received so many positive reviews since its release and caused so much of an unavoidable stir that it's been able to stay in cinemas for nearly three months! It's still out even today, in fact - and who wouldn't want to go and see it a second time? It's a tasty mix of action, adventure and undiluted fun, but with that secret ingrediant that you can't get in Mission Impossible or the Bourne movies... Bond, James Bond.
More of the best: Another of Joss Whedon's geek-gasms The Avengers, the surprisingly refreshing sci-fi romp Lockout, horny Hope Springs, gory Lawless and an 'on-the-edge-of-your-seater' Argo.
More of the best: Another of Joss Whedon's geek-gasms The Avengers, the surprisingly refreshing sci-fi romp Lockout, horny Hope Springs, gory Lawless and an 'on-the-edge-of-your-seater' Argo.
Battleship
Imagine the greatest science fiction film you've ever had the pleasure of watching. Perhaps it was an emotional adventure, portraying how humans might react if confronted by a race of mysterious aliens at the helm of some enormous spaceships capable of blowing our asses out of orbit. One filled with a passionate sense of discovery - a believable, yet imaginative character-led tale of epic proportions that has completely changed the way you look up at a night's sky. Imagine that. Then, imagine, if you will, the exact opposite. Imagine all that was good about your favourite had turned bad and tacky, filled with unlikable characters, cringe-worthy CGI, horrendous dialogue and an inexcusable number of cheap plot devices. And Rihanna saying 'boom'. Awful. Just awful.
Total Recall
How many roofs does a man have to fall through before he starts questioning the build quality of the accommodation in his neighbourhood? Colin Farrel took to science fiction this year, in the shape of Total Recall, another almost-totally computerised movie that is filled with pretend lens flares and, to put it bluntly, an insult to your retinas. Stakes are high, yet nobody ever acts like they need to kill people. It's a tiresome game of cat and mouse that shouldn't last as long as it does and, quite often, makes very little sense. Not in a complicated sciencey way - in a 'that just wouldn't happen' or 'that's physically impossible' sort of way. It will piss you off and it's not worth even thinking about purchasing on DVD. If you feel you must watch it, download it illegally, but be aware you will be required to suspend your disbelief to almost Doctor Who levels of gullibility.
The Hunger Games
A controversial addition to the 'worst' list, but a disappointment in more ways than a tiny human mind can possibly imagine. Even without having read the book, it's clear that vital elements from The Hunger Games are missing in the film adaptation, such as the 'hunger', for example. The main problem, however, is that the movie sets up a scenario which is hopeless and terrifying but it's unable to pull that kind of emotion from the audience. A group of teenagers in a crazy world where people dress as pantomime dames to work are forced to kill each another until just one of them remains. As soon as anything remotely violent starts to happen, the camera shakes beyond control, making it difficult to see who is pretending to fight who. If you're making a film about a life or death predicament it's got to feel like a life or death predicament. Simples.
More wastes of time: The long and boring Haywire, a bland Frankenweenie, Snow White and the fucking uneventful Huntsman, The Dictator who thinks he's funnier than he is and a needlessly violent Killer Joe.
Roo